May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
