I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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