i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize