would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize