Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
