Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
