how can u be prego again
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
