How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
