You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
