When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
