That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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