you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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