Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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