my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Randomize
