dude i'm inner monologue high
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
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