tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
