if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
