I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
