im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
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your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
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