i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
