My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
