Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
There's always time for handjobs
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
