The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
