Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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