lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
