She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
