I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
