i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
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