So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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