Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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