Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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