Can i not drive my cunt home
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
