Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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