doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
