just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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