Joe is yelling at the trees again.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
