Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But break dance skills will only take you so far
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Randomize