I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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