so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
