So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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