butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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