When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
