Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
