The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
