I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize
