I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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