I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
