I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I am puke
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize