Barsexuality is the new black.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
