You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize