dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
