Me too!
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize