The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
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And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
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And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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