it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize