nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
