he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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