i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.