his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan