...so i touched it.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
