I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
