i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
